The Mystery of St. John the Theologian

 

"The beholder of ineffable revelations * and recounter of the highest mysteries of God, * the son of Zebedee, * who set down in writing the Gospel of Christ, * hath taught us to theologize * concerning the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 

 The harp of heavenly songs played by God, * the recorder of mysteries, * the divinely eloquent mouth, * doth beautifully chant the hymn of hymns; * for, moving his lips as though they were strings, * and using his tongue as a plectrum, * he prayeth that we be saved. 

Proclaiming with thy thunderous tongue * the hidden word of divine wisdom, * O beloved of God, * thou ever criest out, continually moving thy lips: * In the beginning was the Word! * And thou instructest every man in the knowledge of God. "

--Stichera at the Lamp-Lighting Psalms at Great Vespers for St. John the Theologian

"All the Evangelists, indeed, were holy, all the Apostles, except the traitor—all were holy; yet Saint John, who wrote his Gospel last, having been sought and chosen by Christ to be in a sense his kinsman, uttered eternal mysteries with a louder trumpet. Whatever he spoke is a mystery."

--St. Ambrose of Milan, On the Sacraments (De Sacramentis) III.II.11

Nota Bene: The stichera come from the website of St. Sergius of Radonezh Russian Orthodox Cathedral in Parma, OH.

"Shoots of Salvation Out of Perdition"

"And they took hold of him and brought him to the Are-op′agus, saying, “May we know what this new teaching is which you present? For you bring some strange things to our ears; we wish to know therefore what these things mean.” Now all the Athenians and the foreigners who lived there spent their time in nothing except telling or hearing something new. So Paul, standing in the middle of the Are-op′agus, said: “Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious. For as I passed along, and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription, ‘To an unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in shrines made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all men life and breath and everything.  And he made from one every nation of men to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their habitation, that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel after him and find him. Yet he is not far from each one of us, for ‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your poets have said, ‘For we are indeed his offspring.’"

--Acts 17:19-28 (Epistle Reading for the Tuesday of the Sixth Week of Pascha)

"He uses the very proclamations of the devil to condemn the devil's tyranny; from the devil's citadel, he destroys the dominion of his authority; he cultivates piety amidst impiety and produces for us shoots of salvation out of perdition; from the snare of the devil, he strengthens them to run the course of the Gospel; he makes the summit of apostasy a portal of access through which they can enter into the bridal chamber and immaculate nuptials of Christ: the Church. Just so was that sublime mind, wherein was borne strength from on high, vigorous to wound and to subjugate the enemy by the enemy's own weapons." 

--St. Photios of Constantinople, The Mystagogy of the Holy Spirit §73

 

A Few Thoughts on Self-Esteem

"For the highest of human tasks is for a man to allow himself to be completely persuaded that he can of himself do nothing, absolutely nothing."

--Søren Kierkegaard, "Man's Need of God Constitutes his Highest Perfection," Edifying Discourses, Vol. IV

"For it is not the man who commends himself that is accepted, but the man whom the Lord commends."

--2 Cor 10:18

In modern psychology, self-esteem is the big fad.  If we do not feel like we are perfect, if we don't feel like we can do everything, we are considered as broken and in need of fixing.  We supposedly cannot function in the world without being puffed up with self-esteem.  Pseudo-psychology says the same thing: by believing in how awesome we are, we draw good things to ourselves.  (Just think of The Secret and the "law of attraction.")  Yet how true is this drive to self-esteem?

In self-esteem, the goal is to "commend ourselves," as St. Paul would say.  But is that good?  It seems that it is not, according to the Truth.  "Apart from Me you can do nothing" (Jn 15:5).  Is not self-esteem thinking that we can do everything on our own?  Yet, as Kierkegaard says, our true greatness comes from realizing our worthlessness.  "But I am a worm, and no man" (Ps 22:6).  "He must increase, but I must decrease": shouldn't that be the declaration of us all? (Jn 3:30)  As Christians, are we not called to humility?  How does puffing ourselves up with the idea that we are all-powerful consistent with humility?

Isn't pride considered the root of all vices?  Yet isn't self-esteem just a form of pride?  St. John Cassian listed self-esteem as one of the eight vices, calling that we "always reject the thoughts of self-praise that enter our hearts, and always regard ourselves as nothing before God" (On the Eight Vices, Philokalia I:92, paraphrased). 

Is there a good use of self-esteem?  I know people that have suffered from depression and can barely function by thinking that they are absolutely worthless, and calling for humility can make them feel horrible.  I can personally attest that the "Litany of Humility" can be excruciating.  But is it because this kind of anti-self-esteem is bad, or is it because we have not fully thrown all of our cares onto God?  Is this rejection of self-esteem and acceptance of humility only truly possible if we fully devote ourselves totally to God?  Without relying on God's grace and power, our rejection of self is unbearable and impossible to live.  But with a true dependance on Him, could this ideal of extreme humility not only be possible but praise-worthy?

I am not certain on this topic, for I have felt the crushing weight of a lack of self-esteem.  Does this mean self-esteem has a legitimate use, for instance, in psychology?  I do not know.  Is the idea of self-esteem abused constantly today?  I would say so.  I do not yet know how to balance humility and self-esteem, or whether there should be a balance.  These are merely some thoughts that have run through my head.  Is self-esteem compatible with Christianity?  I do not know yet.  All I can do is pray and work on relying entirely on God and His Grace. 

St. John the Forerunner, pray for us!

The Kingdom and the Battle

"Thy Kingdom come. By this sweet word we obviously offer God this prayer: Let the opposing battle front be broken and the hostile phalanx be destroyed. Bring to an end the war of the flesh against the spirit and let the body no longer harbour the enemy of the soul. Oh, let them appear, the royal force, the angelic band, the thousands of rulers, the myriads of those who stand on Thy right hand, that a thousand warriors may fall on the front of the enemy! Strong, indeed, is the adversary, formidable, yea, invincible to those bereft of Thy help. Yet only as long as man is fighting alone; when Thy Kingdom comes, the pangs and sighs of sorrow vanish, and life, peace, and rejoicing enter instead."

--St. Gregory of Nyssa, On the Lord's Prayer III